Boobs And Boobs

Sorry, it’s not a sex swing. Unless, of course, she simply failed to promote that particular piece of furniture to Elle Decor magazine…The glossy purveyor of furniture and home decor nobody but obscenely wealthy celebrities can afford tapped the lewdly wealthy celebrity for their fall issue. Gwyneth was asked what home items she simply can’t live without, and her answers included hand-painted wallpaper, the sacred books of assorted world faiths (all placed at the same level for maximum metaphorical punch, natch), and a bathtub in the bedroom. You heard us. A bathtub in the bedroom. Sounds extravagant (thinking about the plumber’s bill alone makes us nauseous), but Gwinnie insists it’s perfect for bathing the kids. Funny- we can think of a few uses for a bathtub in the bedroom, but NONE of them involved kids….

See Gwyneth Paltrow’s sexiest nude scenes in and out of the bath at MrSkin.com!

Sorry, it’s not a sex swing. Unless, of course, she simply failed to promote that particular piece of furniture to Elle Decor magazine…The glossy purveyor of furniture and home decor nobody but obscenely wealthy celebrities can afford tap…

First, a disclaimer: If any portion of this book, including the dedication, was actually typed out by any one of the Kardashian sisters and not described to a ghost writer while getting a pedicure, then I am the Queen of England. Anyway, ghost written or not, the names Kourtney: Khloe: Kim- KARDASHIAN are splayed across the garish leopard print cover of “Dollhouse,” the sisters’ literary debut. Naturally, the book is about the exciting comings and goings of a “family in the spotlight.” Despite the parallels to their real life (whatever that means for the Kardashians), Kim says it is partly fancied and “you’ll have to decide for yourself which story lines are true to life, and which ones we dreamed up.” We suggest you pair it with Snooki’s novel, A Shore Thing, the combination of which will render you functionally illiterate. That’s ok- reading is for ugly people, anyway.

See the Kardashian sisters- Kim, Kourtney and Khloe- nude and sexy on MrSkin.com!

First, a disclaimer: If any portion of this book, including the dedication, was actually typed out by any one of the Kardashian sisters and not described to a ghost writer while getting a pedicure, then I am the Queen of England. Anyway, ghost written…

Ben Flajnik may have come in second place on this season of The Bachelorette, but we bet he’s not too torn up about it. The reason? Jennifer Love Hewitt. JLH is a confirmed fan of the show, and the day after the finale she tweeted that Ben had accepted “my final rose.” A few short days later, the reality show runner-up and the busty Party of Five hollywood star were seen canoodling in a San Francisco pub. Who needs first place, anyway- those big, beautiful blossoms JLH has on her chest make for an excellent consolation prize.

See juicy pics of Jennifer Love Hewitt, including her TIT-illating nip slip in The Tuxedo (2002), on MrSkin.com

Ben Flajnik may have come in second place on this season of The Bachelorette, but we bet he’s not too torn up about it. The reason? Jennifer Love Hewitt. JLH is a confirmed fan of the show, and the day after the finale she tweeted that Ben had …

Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake have had an on-again, off-again kinship for years, and Timberlake recently hit the “off-again” switch when he declared himself “single” at a Friends with Benefits press event. But Jessica is not one to sit at home and cry into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, no sir- she’s got a multimillion dollar sci-fi reboot to shoot, one that also happens to star a Mr. Colin Farrell. Reports are coming from the set that while Ferrell and Biel haven’t hooked up (at least as far as the little birdies in the crew know), they do have “hot chemistry” and hang out off set, where they are often seen grinning like idiots in each other’s presence. Could Jessica be on her way to for good giving the former N*Sync-er his permanent N*walking papers so she can take a walk on the Irish side? Only time- and the little birdies in the crew- will tell.

Watch Jessica Biel give the bare perv-formance of a lifetime in Powder Blue (2000) on MrSkin.com!

Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake have had an on-again, off-again kinship for years, and Timberlake recently hit the “off-again” switch when he declared himself “single” at a Friends with Benefits press event. But Jessica is …

Jane Fonda, the swinging ’60s sex symbol who has appeared naked in 8 movies from 1964′s Joy House to 1989′s Old Gringo, opens up about her struggles with body image in the new issue of Harper’s Bazaar magazine. Fonda tells Harper’s that after a decades-long effort with bulimia (“I wasn’t very happy from, I would say, puberty to 50″, she says), she’s finally glad with her body- peculiarly the rear view: “I’m careful that what I wear will show off my best parts, which are my waist and my butt.” Fonda appears in the magazine in a skin-tight, sheer Stella McCartney gown, showing off the body she’s worked so hard to accept. Jane, if we look anything like you at age 73- hell, if we looked like you now- we’d be nothing but proud.

Realize three decades of nakedness from Barbarella herself, Jane Fonda, on MrSkin.com

Jane Fonda, the swinging ’60s sex symbol who has appeared naked in 8 movies from 1964′s Joy House to 1989′s Old Gringo, opens up about her struggles with body image in the new issue of Harper’s Bazaar magazine. Fonda tells Har…

Look, Ryan Reynolds. You did good when you put a ring on Scarlett Johansson. Everybody knows that that actress is sex on two legs. But you messed up, buddy. You messed up when you left her, but we’re here to help you. We imagine you don’t read the tabloids much, so we’ll fill you in: according to Us Weekly, the former Mrs. Reynolds is now thinking about getting back together with her ex-hubby. A source told the gossip rag that Scarlett has been calling Reynolds ceaselessly, asking how he’s been, wanting to meet up: “She’s doing everything possible to get him to take her back. Even saying she?s ready to have a baby.” Seriously, do you have any idea how good looking your off-spring would be? Just pick up the phone, Ryan. You know you want to.

See Scarlett Johansson nude at MrSkin.com!

Look, Ryan Reynolds. You did good when you put a ring on Scarlett Johansson. Everybody knows that that actress is sex on two legs. But you messed up, buddy. You messed up when you left her, but we’re here to help you. We imagine you don’t…

Fashion Model Linda Evangelista made major waves in a Manhattan courtroom today by asking her alleged baby daddy, French businessman Francois-Henri Pinault, for $46,000 a month in child support. Linda explained that she needed the seemingly hideous sum to pay for her 4-year-old son Augustin’s nannies and armed drivers while she hops the globe for photo shoots. Support Magistrate Matthew Troy told the fashion model that her request “would probably be the largest support order in the history of the Family Court,” but didn’t reject it outright.

Of course, Pinault is just about the only man alive who can afford it- he’s the CEO of PPR Pinault, the $28 billion conglomerate which owns Gucci and Yves St. Laurent, among other high-fashion brands. No word on how Mrs. Pinault, aka Salma Hayek, took the news- though it’s safe to say, if she sees Linda on the street, somebody’s getting beat with a Gucci bag.

It took billions of dollars to put a ring on Salma Hayek, but you can see her bare on MrSkin.com!

Fashion Model Linda Evangelista made major waves in a Manhattan courtroom today by asking her alleged baby daddy, French businessman Francois-Henri Pinault, for $46,000 a month in child support. Linda explained that she needed the seemingly hideous s…

Kelly Osbourne is the child of one of the most feared women in rock, Ozzy Osbourne’s manager/wife Sharon Osbourne, and it looks like she inherited her mother’s sharp tongue. Kelly blunderd out what must have been years of smothered hatred for Christina Aguilera this weekend at a taping of E’s Fashion Police- when host Joan Rivers remarked that Aguilera was “stuffed into” a dress she wore on the red carpet, Kelly threw this profanity-filled communicative firebomb:

“Maybe she is just becoming the fat b–h she was born to be. I don’t know. She was a c–t to me. She called me fat for so many f–ing years, so you know what? F–k you, you’re fat too.”

Considering it’s been over a year since Kelly debuted her dramatically slimmed-down new body, she must have been holding that in for a very long time. Moral of the story? Don’t f*ck with an Osbourne- like elephants, they never forget. Not that we’re comparing you to an elephant, Kelly. Please don’t hurt us!

See XXXtina, aka Christina Aguilera, in slimmer days on MrSkin.com!

Kelly Osbourne is the child of one of the most feared women in rock, Ozzy Osbourne’s manager/wife Sharon Osbourne, and it looks like she inherited her mother’s sharp tongue. Kelly blunderd out what must have been years of smothered hatred…

After years spent apart building (or demolishing, as the case may be) their careers, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan are BFFS 4 LIFE once more. Lindsay continued her latest probation celebration tour by spending the weekend partying in Malibu at former frienemy Paris’ beach house. Though she was told by judge Stephanie Sautner to “get your life in order” a mere 10 days ago, Lindsay partied at Paris’ pad until 4am, when she was seen leaving the party with her hoodie pulled over her face. Lindsay then got into a chauffeured car and was driven away. See Lindsay’s matured- she has a driver now!

Party like it’s 2006 with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan bare on MrSkin.com!

After years spent apart building (or demolishing, as the case may be) their careers, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan are BFFS 4 LIFE once more. Lindsay continued her latest probation celebration tour by spending the weekend partying in Malibu at forme…

Paz de la Huerta is far-famed for being on Boardwalk Empire, but she’s arguably even more famed for being a red-hot mess. Clothes just can’t stay on the girl, and booze just can’t stay out of her. Paz appeared in court this week to face the fruits of her booze-soaked fury- assault charges stemming from a recent incident where she threw a glass at reality show “star” Samantha Swerta. While the court attendance did require her to wear clothes, Paz decided to bring her trademark bare panache to the proceedings by stopping in the middle of her security screening to slather her legs with lotion. Alllllllll the way up her legs. Qouth a stunned onlooker: “She did both legs all the way up to the thighs. It was lovely. Very nice lotioning!”

Speaking of very nice lotioning, you’ll need a bottle beside you when you see Paz de la Huerta nude at MrSkin.com!

Paz de la Huerta is far-famed for being on Boardwalk Empire, but she’s arguably even more famed for being a red-hot mess. Clothes just can’t stay on the girl, and booze just can’t stay out of her. Paz appeared in court this week to …

She’s so anxious, in fact, that she got engaged to her beau Marcus Mumford after dating for only five months. Carey, who was nominated for an Oscar in 2010 for her role in An Education, appeared at the San-Deigo Comic-Con last week in California, then ran straightaway back to jolly olde England for an intimate getaway weekend with Mumford, singer for the British folk-rock group Mumford and Sons. The two haven’t officially announced their engagement, but British tabloid The Sun quoted an onlooker who said “Carey looked like the cat who got the cream. She was wearing a beautiful ring and didn’t seem to care who saw it.” Of course, this is the same paper whose name is currently being dragged through the mud for tapping celebrities’ phones, but hey- they seem like nice kids, so we hope this happy news is true.

Forget happy news- check up on some slappy au naturels with Carey Mulligan at MrSkin.com!

She’s so anxious, in fact, that she got engaged to her beau Marcus Mumford after dating for only five months. Carey, who was nominated for an Oscar in 2010 for her role in An Education, appeared at the San-Deigo Comic-Con last week in Californi…